AllGuinness

It has been almost exactly three years since I have had a cigarette, yet last night I had a dream that I was smoking again.  In the dream I had also quit, but at some time in the past I decided to take it up again.  I was conflicted about this in the dream, realizing that it was a bad choice, but still wanting to do it.  In my actual life I miss the smoking, but have no real desire to start smoking again, but there must be something lingering in my brain that wants the sensation even after this long a separation.  I did recently buy a pipe, though it was more because I think pipes are cool to have than for a desire to start smoking one regularly.  The time commitment is just too great with a pipe.  I have smoked it once since I got it, but I’ll keep it around for special occasions.

My daughter is now a year old.  This makes my relative age (when she is my age I will be) seventy.  That’s depressing, but what are you going to do.  She walks all around, and shows some of the early signs of language, though her vocabulary is so limited to render conversing a bore. 

Over the last month I have been growing out my beard to test whether I am a man.  The result is that I am kinda a man, but not wholly.  It did grow in and almost fills in, though not perfectly, but it took a long time to do so, in comparison with real men.  At the end of the month I will spend a little time experimenting with a couple of facial hair shaving options (soul patch not included!), and then remove all facial hair (eye brows and lashes not included!) and head hair.  I don’t feel any attachment to the beard, as this was merely an experiment from the start.